06.01.07

La Bandera de la Reina

Posted in Fictional Countries at 10:25 am

With major assistance from of Jean-Louis I now have the history of the regiment.

Many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea, there lived a maiden whom the world would come to know. She was the very beautiful daughter of Duke Alonzo Café Bar y Casa de Tanning named Mirabel. [1]

The Yellow Bird

The king’s heir apparent Don Pedro was still a bachelor (for very good reasons, as the future will tell) and all the Counts and Dukes of the kingdom sent their marriageable (and some less so) daughters to the Court. None had as cute a face as Mirabel, none had smaller feet (nothing more could be seen) and she always appeared in dresses of lemon yellow and sky blue. The competition for the Prince’s attentions was harsh, cruel, and remorseless: a very powerful rival family (on the instigation of the brother of the House Head, the cunning Cardinal Libro y Portfolio Negro) hired an infamous seducer, Don Juan Siempre Usar Viagra, to dishonor pure and naive Mirabel. She oh so imprudently gave him, as a token of chaste (still) but ardent love, a very special ring bearing the ruling House’s arms. This had been a gift from a previous king to her grand-mother after she gave the then queen judicious advice that ensured the perpetuation of the royal line. Then, as the engagement of Mirabel and the Caballero (the traditional title of the Heir Apparent) was nearing announcement, some suggested to the King that Mirabel should wear at the next Ball the ring symbolizing the especially close relationship between the two families….

But the conspirators, as did any people of noble birth, scorned their domestic staff to the point of no longer being aware of their presence. The mysterious network of gossip between chambermaids, scullery maids, linen maids, pages, hairdressers and cooks carried the news to the man-servants of the officers of the garrison. In actuality – besides the skeleton Inner Guard of the palace – it consisted of a single foot regiment. It turned out that some junior officers were from Mirabel’s father’s estates; they had known her from childhood and cherished her deeply (some loved her hopelessly). It’s said that four of them (actually three minor nobles holding the King’s commission and a young cadet) took the matter at heart and in hand, and slaughtered – in formal duels or otherwise – Don Juan and many other males of various ages and recovered the ‘One Ring’ just in time…. Thus Mirabel married the Caballero.

Mirabel the Great

To Mirabel the marriage was a great disappointment: the future king turned out to be far more interested (if not in clockworks and locks as his cousin) in collecting live spiders and snakes than in ‘honoring’ his young wife. He was too often seen in the company of bizarre-looking hairstylists and makeup artists propounding the newly fashionable “guyliner” techniques. Things worsened when the old King died under odd circumstances. As soon as he was crowned, Pedro the XIII became a totally paranoid, cruel and greedy ruler. Caligula would have been sainted before Pedro. The more unpopular he became, the more Mirabel was loved in all circles. She had kept a special affection for those in the foot regiment who had saved her before her marriage – all were now company commanders or higher. The Queen was often seen with the regiment, actually appearing at the regimental feasts, and at hunting parties, in the regimental uniform. In his madness, the king became obsessively jealous of Mirabel: not for any suspected infidelity, his spies (the very few that actually lived to report) had nothing to say except to report on her increasing popularity. So he hired an assassin, though he grumbled about his wages. But nothing escaped the ever-present eyes and ears of the palace servants. This time the whole regiment came to help ‘its’ Queen. It is rumored that Pedro tried to fly from the Palace’s roof in an attempt to flee from their wrath but met with scant success. As a reward for their service the regiment was granted the title ‘The Queen’s Own’ – a boon they asked for instead of being given ‘Guard’ status (they knew that a Guard soon degenerates, they just had crushed one). To honor the queen, the regimental uniform colors were changed to yellow and blue and became known officially on the Army’s rolls as La Bandera de la Reina.

[1] Of uncommon beauty

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